Time went by for Bahar, who now lived with her father. They lived in a two bedroom apartment probably 5-6 miles away from her birth mother. In the beginning, she’d see her mom on occasion, but again, that time in her life has now become one big blur. Eventually the 2 just drifted apart; Bahar’s mom no longer had time for her. She’d make claims that she was working, she was upset, she felt betrayed by her daughter. How dare Bahar go and live with that man? Well, one thing a lot of people don’t know, Bahar’s birth mother used to withhold her father from speaking to her. At one point Bahar’s father had to go and buy her beeper, which Bahar could never figure out how to work. But when her dad would “beep” her, Bahar’s birth mom wouldn’t allow Bahar to call her dad. Well, naturally, her father bought her a cell phone. Even though Bahar’s birth mom had a direct line to her, she never called, that is of course, unless she wanted to know what her father was doing. She would call to probe.

One day, while she attended Private school, Bahar was in her gym uniform, and, well, puberty struck. No one ever warned Bahar about her period or the “birds and the bees” so Bahar was terrified and had no clue what was going on. She ran to the school office in tears. She called her birth mother, but she was of no help. Her father came to Bahar’s rescue though.

That was so embarrassing for her, you have this man with his daughter, his only child and he had no idea what to do. Bahar’s father had to intervene and asked Bahar’s birth mother to help. She told him that she’s going for her evening walk by the water and that’s when they could meet her that evening for products. This little girl had to go the whole day, shoving paper in her underwear, cause she didn’t know what to do and when her dad took her to the pharmacy they had no idea what to buy. We’re talking a very old school Iranian Man with a fully blown beard and heavy accent. He didn’t even get out of the car because of the embarrassment.

That evening, they met Bahar’s birth mother while her she was on her leisurely evening walk and picked up the products. Most mothers would be running to their daughter’s rescue. Well, that’s not what happened for this young girl; her birthmother handed her some stuff and said “when you get home this is what you do. Good luck!” And that was it.

It’s probably one of the last times Bahar really remembers that she saw her birth mother, in a civil manner at least. The woman eventually stopped calling her daughter. The only time she’d call, it was interrogations about her father again and eventually Bahar was tired of it. She just wanted to be a kid in middle school. She eventually just stopped answering her cell phone which sent her birth mother into a tizzy leading her to start leaving Bahar nasty voicemails up to 10 minutes long. The woman would be yelling to her voicemail, telling her all these awful things about her father and about her. How ungrateful Bahar was, she played the victim. She told everyone that Bahar’s dad brainwashed her. The abuse was just so awful to the point that she simply stopped listening. Well, that was the day the little girl learned not to absorb any negative words anymore in efforts to protect herself.

Eventually, her parents went to court and the child guardian for Bahar played the recordings for the judge. Not even two minutes in, the judge had them stop the recordings of those voicemails her birthmother would leave, looked up at her and said “I’m granting full custody to the father of this young girl and you can have visitation.” When she heard that, she said she didn’t want it. Can any parent believe that this woman essentially abandoned her young tween daughter?

Well, that would be the start of a new life for this young girl and her father. The life wouldn’t be easy, but well worth every single second.